Living a Happy Emotional Life

We all live lives rich in relationships and punctuated with emotion. Lovers arrive, bringing gifts of passion and tenderness, and then exit, marking their passage with anger and sadness. Children flash into being, evoking previously unimaginable exhilaration and exhaustion. Friends and family members tread parallel paths, sharing our emotions, and then pass on, leaving grief and memories in their wake.

Across all our relationship experiences, what balances out our anger and grief is our joy. All human beings share the capacity to relish intense joy and the desire to maintain such happiness in an impermanent and ever-changing world. Also universal is the fact that our personal joy is determined by the quality of our interpersonal connections. When our relationships with family, friends, coworkers, and romantic partners are happy, we are happy, and when they’re not, we’re not.

Yet, joy doesn’t drop magically from the sky into our hearts and minds and stay there. We create joy – through every decision we make and every thought, word, and deed. When we manage our emotional experiences and communication poorly, the interpersonal sorrows we wreak on others reflect back on us in the form of personal unhappiness. When we steadfastly and skillfully manage our emotions, the positive relationship outcomes we create multiply, and with them, our happiness and the joy of those who surround us.

I encourage all of you to keep this thought in mind:

We create joy – through every decision we make and every thought, word, and deed.

Top Ten Healthiest Foods (according to me!)

Top 10 healthiest foods

I have googled many other list, and I have taken health courses, and I have spoke with several nutrionists, and this is what I’ve come up with. I base my daily diet around these foods…and I’m a happy camper! You could be too, and it all begins with what you consume. Happy eating!

Almonds
Almonds
Almonds are a source of vitamin E, copper, magnesium, and high-quality protein; they also contain high levels of healthy unsaturated fatty acids along with high levels of bioactive molecules (such as fiber, phytosterols, vitamins, other minerals, and antioxidants), which may help prevent cardiovascular disease.

BlueberriesBlueberries
The fiber, potassium, folate, vitamin C, vitamin B6, and phytonutrient content in blueberries supports heart health. The absence of cholesterol from blueberries is also beneficial to the heart. Fiber content helps to reduce the total amount of cholesterol in the blood and decrease the risk of heart disease.

Flax Seeds
Omega-3 essential fatty acids, “good” fats thflaxseed-1at have been shown to have heart-healthy effects. Each tablespoon of ground flaxseed contains about 1.8 grams of plant omega-3s. Lignans, which have both plant estrogen and antioxidant qualities. Flaxseed contains 75 to 800 times more lignans than other plant foods.

Baby Spinach
One cup of raw spinach contains:
27 calories.
0.86 grams of protein.
30 milligrams of calcium.
0.81 grams of iron.
24 milligrams of magnesium.
167 milligrams of potassium.
2,813 micrograms of Vitamin A.
58 micrograms of folate.Spinach

Salmon (Wild Alaskan)
Rich in Omega-3 Fatty Acids. …
Great Source of Protein. …
High in B Vitamins. …Salmon
Good Source of Potassium. …
Loaded with Selenium. …
Contains the Antioxidant Astaxanthin. …
May Reduce the Risk of Heart Disease. …
May Benefit Weight Control.

Carrots
Benefits. Carrots contain vitamin A, antioxidants, and other nutrients. Evidence suggests that eating more antioxidant-rich fruits carrotsand vegetables, such as carrots, can help reduce the risks of cancer and cardiovascular disease. Carrots are also rich in vitamins, minerals, and fiber.

Avocado
Avocado is Incredibly Nutritious. …
They Contain More Potassium Than Bananas. …avocado
Avocado is Loaded with Heart-Healthy Monounsaturated Fatty Acids. …
Avocados Are Loaded with Fiber. …
Eating Avocados Can Lower Cholesterol and Triglyceride Levels.

Green Lentils
Lentils add essential vitamins, minerals, and fiber to the diet, and they provide protein and sustenance that can Green Lentilsreplace meat in meals. When meat, a major source of saturated and trans fats in the diet, is replaced with a high-fiber food like lentils, the risk for heart disease is further decreased.

Black Beans
The fiber, potassium, folate, vitamin B6, and phytonutrient content of black beans, Black Beanscoupled with its lack of cholesterol, all support heart health. This fiber helps lower the total amount of cholesterol in the blood and decrease the risk of heart disease.

Grapefruit
Strengthens Immune System. …
Boosts Metabolism. …grapefruit
Reduces Kidney Stones Risk. …
Fights Gum Disease. …
Protects Against Cancer. …
Reduces Stress.

If you read this list, and are now reading this, please let me know what you think should be on this list.

Caption This!

I want to know what you, my dear readers, think is going on here. What caption would you use to descibe this photo? Write a sentence or tell a brief story of what’s going on…be creative! I’ll post all of your replies!

Who’s Writing Your Story?

Several years ago, I became aware that I was playing the role of the victim. Evidently, I’d been playing that role for most of my life. I never thought of myself as a victim, but in retrospect my thought process and behavior were one of a victim – I was just completely unaware of the victim role I was playing.

A relationship breakup, “how could she do this to me,” fired from a job, “why are they firing me,” my family doing some ‘tough-love,’ “why are they abandoning me,” the judge sentencing me to six-months in the county jail, “you can’t do this to me!” Those were the kinds of things I would say to myself never realizing I was playing the victim and giving my power to other people to write my story.

How I thought and felt about myself was entirely dependent on what other people thought and felt about me. The noise and chaos of the world was writing my story. Eventually, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, PTSD, depression, bi-polar disorder, SUDs (substance use disorder), and AUD (alcohol use disorder). I was a mess!

Five years of therapy, which helped lead to transformational recovery, I now no longer let anyone but me write my story. Getting to this point was not easy – I am stubborn, opinionated, selfish, and I’m always right! Like I said, it took five years of therapy to overcome a lifetime of self-defeating behaviors and thought processes. So, exactly how did I learn to write my own story? How did I take my power back from all the noise and confusion? Well, it’s an inside job that took several years to figure out. I have beautiful people in my life that let me stomp, scream, pout, learn, and pace around for hours, but they never let me quit. Then I had my first breakthrough.

Now, I know this is going to sound like a bunch of hooey, after all, that’s what I used to say when I heard people mention this thing called unconditional love. Unconditional love – bah humbug! Hooey! Total and complete nonsense. Then one day while I was in rehab, I had an experience where I had to make a choice. Either I was going to let a breakup lead me back to the bottle, or I was going to learn a new way to deal with it. I realized that whether or not we stay together doesn’t matter, because I will still love her. Knowing this lead to a choice of acceptance, or of letting it destroy me. I knew that if I were to drink again I would die (stage-3 cirrhosis of the liver and few other things I will not mention here).

I didn’t want to die, so I decided to accept that she was leaving me and love her anyways. After about week of processing I gave her a call, told her I will always love her, that I would always be here for her, wished her happiness on her journey, and told her that the love I have for her has no conditions – that loving her has no conditions because it’s about me and whats’ in inside of me…not her. In other words, what I feel, and what I think is not dependent on what someone else thinks or feels. Holy crap! I finally grasped and internalized the absolute freedom of loving unconditionally.

From this epiphany, I’ve discovered my core values, beliefs, and who the man in my heart truly is (and he’s beautiful)! From there, I’ve been able to reflect on my behavior to see if it is aligned with my values and beliefs; and when they are in harmony – what do you know, my whole life is in harmony. I now define who and what I am. Who’s writing my story? I am writing my story – and my story is one of love, compassion, empathy, adventure, curiosity, learning, kindness, and courage. I’ll leave you with two quotes that helped me discover who I am.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Gandhi

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones weve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”

Barack Obama

So, who’s writing your story?

 

Leadership Manifesto

leader /’līdәr/ n: Anyone who holds her- or himself accountable for finding potential in people and processes.
WE WANT TO SHOW UP, WE WANT TO LEARN AND
WE WANT TO INSPIRE.
WE ARE HARDWIRED FOR CONNECTION, CURIOSITY, AND ENGAGEMENT.
WE CRAVE PURPOSE, AND WE HAVE A DEEP DESIRE TO CREATE AND CONTRIBUTE.
WE WANT TO TAKE RISKS,
EMBRACE OUR VULNERABILITIES, AND BE COURAGEOUS.
WHEN LEARNING AND WORKING ARE DEHUMANIZED –
WHEN YOU NO LONGER SEE US AND NO LONGER ENCOURAGE OUR DARING, OR WHEN YOU ONLY SEE WHAT WE PRODUCE OR HOW WE PERFORM – WE DISENGAGE AND TURN AWAY FROM THE VERY THINGS THAT THE WORLD NEEDS FROM US: OUR TALENT, OUR IDEAS, AND OUR PASSION.
W H A T W E A S K I S T H A T Y O U
ENGAGE WITH US, SHOW UP BESIDE US, AND LEARN FROM US.
FEEDBACK IS A FUNCTION OF RESPECT;
WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE HONEST CONVERSATIONS WITH US
ABOUT OUR STRENGTHS AND OUR OPPORTUNITIES FOR GROWTH, WE QUESTION OUR CONTRIBUTIONS AND YOUR COMMITMENT.
ABOVE ALL ELSE, WE ASK THAT YOU SHOW UP, LET YOURSELF BE SEEN, AND BE COURAGEOUS.
DARE GREATLY WITH US.

from Daring Greatly by Brené Brown Copyright © 2017 Brené Brown, LLC.

Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted

By Brene Brown

There is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fearmongers

than those of us who are willing to fall because we have learned how to rise.

With skinned knees and bruised hearts; we choose owning our stories of struggle,

over hiding, over hustling, over pretending.

When we deny our stories, they define us.

When we run from struggle, we are never free. So we turn toward truth and look it in the eye.

We will not be characters in our stories.

Not villains, not victims, not even heroes.

We are the authors of our lives. We write our own daring endings.

We craft love from heartbreak, compassion from shame,

grace from disappointment, courage from failure.

Showing up is our power.

Story is our way home. Truth is our song.

We are the brave and brokenhearted.

We are rising strong.

© 2017 Brené Brown, LLC.

 

 

The Man I am in My Heart

The man I am in my heart is the change I want to see in the world. I am a man of peace and kindness whose intention is to harm no one. A man that is genuine with no need to wear a mask…with no need to be anything other than myself. A man that believes in himself, his abilities, his skills, and his capacity to continue to learn. A man that possesses the innocent heart of a child before it has witnessed the evil ways of the world, felt the pain and suffering of loss, and had to endure the tragedies of life just to survive. A man that loves his family with the same empathy, compassion, loyalty, and forgiveness that they have so generously given to me. A man whose generous spirit loves unconditionally. A man whose handshake is as good as a signed contract. A man that can be trusted with the care of others, and counted on in both good times and tough times. A man whose words carry weight, purpose, meaning, and can be truly believed. A man of integrity in all his affairs and compassion for all those that suffer. A man that is honest, open-minded, and willing to do all that is necessary to leave this world better than I found it. A man whose behavior reflects his values and beliefs. But more than anything else, for without it I am nothing but a man waiting to die, the man in my heart embraces sobriety. I choose life so that I can feel deeper, share deeper, experience deeper, and love deeper.

Darryl Lambert~

20 Methods to Overcome Challenges

Have you ever experienced challenges in your life — those times when you felt lost and had no idea how to keep moving forward?

Perhaps it was in a relationship or a business or maybe even a life and death situation.

How would you like to develop a mindset that could help you in overcoming challenges with anything that comes your way?

The reality is that at some point in life, we all go through struggle. But we get to choose how we respond to it. We have the power to build an unstoppable mindset. Any successful person alive today is a testament to that infinite capacity of the human potential.

Like any other muscle in our body though, the ability to overcome challenges needs to be worked out. This ability is in fact the most important muscle to build, because it gives you the confidence to face any challenge life throws your way.

These 20 methods will help you change your mindset about overcoming challenges in your life.

1. Seek out adversity

Struggle builds character. Often the moments in our life we are most proud of are the ones where we overcame adversity to accomplish something worthwhile. Do something that pushes you to your limits and beyond. Nothing will make you feel more unstoppable than revealing to yourself that you are capable of far more than you ever imagined.

2. Build a team

Success is a team sport. No one does it alone, so don’t try and be the first person in the world to do so. Find friends or family to work together with to drive your life forward. Get in a mastermind group or get an accountability buddy that you check in with every single day to monitor your progress.

3. Focus on the positive

We are all conditioned with what psychologists call “The Negativity Bias.” Unfortunately our brain has a natural inclination to focus on threats and dangers, even perceived ones we create. To destroy this evolutionary construct, throughout your day focus on what is positive and right about the world around you. Find reasons to appreciate everything around you.

quiz-2
4. Label your emotion

The neuroscientist Dr. Matthew Lieberman has shown that the simple act of labeling our emotions reduces activity in the emotional brain and increases activity in the areas of the brain associated with focus and awareness. The next time you are stuck in an emotional pattern that isn’t serving you, label the emotion to separate yourself from the experience. This will allow you to then consciously choose a new one.

5. Choose new stories

We all tell ourselves stories about who we are, how the world works and what people are like. More often than not, as a result of the negativity bias at play, those stories are dis-empowering. Even when the economy is bad, many people are still making money. So you can choose to believe the story that the economy is bad, or you can write a new story that the world is ripe for the picking. If we are going to tell stories, we might as well tell ones that empower us.

6. Write a journal

Every time you find yourself stuck or facing a life challenge, write down your thoughts in a journal. This allows you to get out of your head and separate yourself from the impact of the experience. It brings the conscious brain into play while reducing the effects of the unconscious, emotional brain.

7. Exercise

When Richard Branson was asked about his secret to productivity, his response was working out. For at least three days a week, do some sort of exercise. This has been shown to improve habits in all areas of your life and improve your overall self-confidence. It will also give you the energy to overcome the life challenges you might be facing.

8. Get out in nature

Psychologist Marc Berman has shown that interacting with nature improves the quality of a person’s life and their brain functioning as well. Every day, or at least once a week if you live in a big city, get out in nature and spend some time in the serenity of the great outdoors.

9. Celebrate your summits

Write down a list of all your successes you have achieved in your life. Every single one. Try to reach at least 50. Moving forward, any time you experience a win, stop and celebrate it. This will drive your brain to keep taking the actions that led to the pleasurable emotion.

10. Seek out new summits

Similar to a bucket list, write down a list of all the summits you wish to reach in the rest of your life. This gives you something to focus on. It gives you a reason to push through any struggle that might come up in your journey. Bestselling author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series, Jack Canfield has found that those who set goals and write them down are far more likely to succeed than those that don’t.

11. Anchor it in

Think of a time when you felt more confident than you have ever felt before. Now clench your fist. Keep doing this every day. Your body will start to associate the clenched fist with the feeling of confidence. So the next time you aren’t feeling very powerful, just clench your fist.

12. Time travel

Go back in time to all those memories that have robbed you of your confidence and create new meanings to them. Cognitive psychologist, Elizabeth Loftus has shown that memories can be changed and even false memories can be implanted in people. What this means is that you can literally go back in time and change your memories simply by repeatedly picturing the event while anchored into a positive state, so the meaning of the memory will become a positive one.

13. Step into another person’s shoes

The next time you find yourself stuck and facing a challenge, ask yourself what someone you admire would do in your situation. Do what they would do when they go through struggle. One of the fastest ways to get what you want in life is to find someone who has it and do what they have done. The same can be done for a mental state as well.

14. Stand tall

Social psychologist Amy Cuddy has found that a strong body language actually changes the inner workings of your brain. Practice standing tall and embodying a posture of unbreakable confidence everywhere you go. This will ingrain it deep into your mind and your being.

15. Use confident language

If everyday you use the word depressed, you will become so. Studies have repeatedly shown that when people have been exposed to words relating to old age, they walked slower than those that were exposed to younger words. They saw old words and thus acted old. Use words like powerful, unstoppable and confident as a regular part of your daily vocabulary.

16. Ask new questions

All thoughts are questions or answers to questions. If you disagreed with me, it’s because your mind asked is he right or wrong? Most people ask questions like, “What’s wrong with me?” Or “Why can’t I do this?” If you ask questions like that, your brain will find an answer. Instead, ask yourself questions like, “What is good about this situation?” “How can I make this work?” The questions you ask yourself shape your experience of life.

17. Schedule confidence

Tony Robbins says “If you talk about it, it’s a dream, if you envision it, it’s possible, but if you schedule it, it’s real.” Whatever you want to get done in your life, whatever challenges you want to overcome put it in a calendar and schedule it.

18. Be still

In his research, Dr. Andrew Newberg found that brain scans of meditating Buddhists had greater activity in the parts of the brain associated with focus and awareness than those that do not engage in some sort of meditation. For 10 minutes a day, sit in silence without distractions and just be with your thoughts. This will improve your ability to focus on finding solutions to challenges and creating the life you want to live — as opposed to being at the mercy of circumstances.

19. Get something done

Who doesn’t love getting results? If you want to figure out an answer to a challenge, take action and accomplish something. No matter how small, set a task related to your challenge and finish it to completion.

20. Make your desired actions automatic

The key to mastering self-control and willpower in the face of a challenge is learning how to build positive habits. Keep practicing a desired action for at least 30 days to make your new habit automatic and something you no longer have to think about. Practice building one desired habit a month to help you feel more accomplished and in control of your life.



Article by Akshay Nanavati

Akshay Nanavati is a Marine Corps veteran of the war in Iraq turned adventurer and success consultant. Today, he helps people build an unstoppable mindset and grow a business online so that they too can live their dream lifestyle. 

I Rise as the Sun – Radiant, Brilliant, and Full of Life!

 

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of the Universe. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of the life that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Marianne Williamson